Monday, 13 April 2009

Three and nine doesn't equal twelve

For several years I didn't really celebrate my birthday, except in the most perfunctory of ways - a day or two back at my mum's, the opening of a few presents and so on. I suppose part of it was the attitude of not wanting to make a fuss, and whatever was informing that.

Throughout my twenties it was easy enough to celebrate anyway without making any kind of fuss: it was just a case of, as with everyone else's birthdays, heading down the pub and, er, that was it. But a few years after that, and when the regular crowd had dissipated somewhat, then a certain amount of effort and planning had to be undertaken just to get more than a handful of people in the same room/pub/cinema.

I think part of me really couldn't be bothered with making all that effort (which wasn't exactly that much effort in itself), but I wonder if some of it was about feeling somehow unworthy, or at least uncomfortable with such attention being placed on me. And then I'd invariably feel flat for not having really done anything to celebrate.

I became dissatisfied with this state of affairs, and so made sure that my friends and I at least went to the cinema, or went for a curry and then for drinks - the first couple of years of doing this, I was almost hilariously tense, and more than a little relieved when it was all over. Whether I was worried about making an idiot of myself, or just wanting the event to pass and to just be ok, I'm not sure.

Well I got used to it anyway.

This year I've already done some celebrating, I went out with Fire Byrd (it was her birthday late last week) and Queen Vixen at the weekend, for a marvellous night of curry, a few drinks and some fantastic conversation. They proved once again to be more than genial company. In fact I could converse with them candidly about many things which I would find difficult to talk about with non-blogging friends I've known for years.

Today I'm heading out with friends for lunch at a pub out in the countryside, and I feel very relaxed about the prospect. All being well there should be around ten of us, but I don't feel any pressure to do anything other than just enjoy being there.

I've got the week off work, too, and I'll be spending a couple of days away in the middle of the week.

I can hear the birds singing, and the sun is doing its best to make an appearance.

So, Happy Birthday me.

16 comments:

Caroline said...

Happy Birthday, gorgeous x

trousers said...

Thank you my dear! x

Fire Byrd said...

Happy Birthday to you
Dear Trousers, Happy Birthday to you.
Enjoy all you can get out of your birthday.
And start planning the big 40.... QV and me will want invites!!!
xx

trousers said...

Thanks fb - but as regards the big 40? I'm not even going to think about that, not just yet anyway :) x

Zhoen said...

My minimum and sufficient is not to be at work on my birthday.

Enjoy yours.

nmj said...

Trousers, Am glad you have plans for today, hope you have/had a happy day. x

Butch Boo said...

Oh happiest of Birthdays to you- I hope you got to "hang out" and have fun- and didn;t feel "too pressed" to do something to celebrate.

Hope you like my trouser quips!

BB
X

trousers said...

Thanks zhoen - and yes, I couldn't be at work these days on my birthday: I wouldn't have been anyway, given that it's Easter Monday, but I feel so much better knowing that I'm not at work tomorrow either, or indeed until next week.

Sure, I'll feel shit next week, but that's a price worth paying.

nmj, thank you. Yes it's been a good day - I've spent time with people I value (just as I did on Saturday), and that really is the main thing. I'm also ending the day a little inebriated, but only a little - and that in itself is a nice feeling too. x

butch, yes indeed to all of those trouser quips! All answers are in the affirmative, I've had a fine time x

zhisou said...

Happy birthday tousers - I've been through exactly the same trials in avoiding celebration, unwilling to be the centre of attention etc. - and now I'm in a similar place, I just get on with it.

Enjoy the pub and curry and presents at your mum's.

B said...

All the best people have birthdays in April! And you share yours with my nanna and my father-in-law :)

Hope you had a fab 'un!

Leigh said...

Belated Happy Birthday, Trousers.
x

Reading the Signs said...

Happy Birthday, Hosenkavalier! So cross am I at being late for this auspicious day (not celebrate the day of your birth? pschaw! as they used to say and probably still say), that I have asked the wonderfully versatile Cat of Signs to do this for you.

Reading the Signs said...

Well ok she declined and it's a relative of hers - but the thought was there.

trousers said...

Many thanks, zhisou - maybe I'm just getting more relaxed in my early middle age...at least in some respects. And I've had a fine time all round, thanks.

b, yes indeedy - as mentioned, it's been fab all round. So is yours in April too? Hope you've had a chance to celebrate in style if that's the case?

An even more belated thank you, leigh :)

Hosenkavalier! I like it, signs - that and the feline contribution are most welcome. Do pass my regards on to Cat of Signs, even if it's merely a relative of hers.

B said...

tis indeed, 11th april. i made it through my birthday unscathed and yes had a lovely time thank you, but have been ill since - just recovering now, finally.

word verification - undied. weird!

trousers said...

Hope you didn't suffer with anything like my recent ailment, b - but am really pleased to hear that your birthday was a good one. x