Sunday, 30 January 2011

A suitable title, for once, escapes me

I was visited by an unfamiliar, almost bewildering sensation yesterday: contentment.

I wasn't expecting it. I'd gone to visit my mother for the weekend, never an unpleasant experience in itself, but one which tends to be dusted with a residue of poignancy for a number of reasons.

Adding to the surprise was that, when I arrived there on Friday evening, I felt exhausted, and imagined that the tone of the weekend was going to be set accordingly. By Saturday, I was still heavy-lidded and limbed, but my mood became paradoxically light. I was able to switch off and relax, something I never felt fully able to do when I visited over Christmas.

I embraced this contentment. I had an awareness of the reasons for its presence, which gave me a sense of quiet satisfaction - but I didn't wish to analyse too deeply in that respect, nor to indulge the temptation to view such contentment with sheer suspicion.

That it was there, was enough: it might not last, after all.

On a separate note, the month of January seems to have passed remarkably quickly. Most years I take a complete break from alcohol for the whole of the month: not so this time, but these days I generally drink at weekends only. I wonder if my lack of complete abstinence has served to make the time pass more speedily.

5 comments:

Zhoen said...

Moments of peace are to be treasured, unanalyzed. Good for you.

Sophia said...

Hey...can I hop on a plane and join you for some of that contentment? Pretty, pretty please?! :)

xo

Fire Byrd said...

Contentment a wonderful feeling for whatever reasson. Long may it last. The wonderful thing about it that once you've had it you can have it again, and it is pretty addictive compared to the feelings we can't wait to shed off!
xx

Reading the Signs said...

I know what you mean about not wanting to look at it too closely (in case that makes it evaporate?) - but just to know it's there - contentment - is good.

I don't know about alcohol, but - er - getting older does seem to make time pass more quickly.

trousers said...

Thanks all. Contentment was followed by bewilderment a few days later, but from a situation very much not of my making..