Thursday, 12 February 2009

Low battery power

...so I was going to write a post today about some strange internal madness or something like that, but have postponed that for just now, in consideration of the following:

a) I have to be very careful with the wording, otherwise it might sound a bit weird.

b) I'm using wi-fi in a cafe for the first time ever - that's right, EVER and am stunned into a state of sheer paralysis at the novelty. Well I'm not, but given point a) above, I don't think I would be able to write as clearly, concisely and as sprawlingly beautifully as such a post would merit, since it would feel more like a race against the memento mori that is zero battery power, the crucial moment which draws nearer with every breath and beat of the heart.

So bollocks to it for now.

Actually that reminds me of another post which I ought to write about chess (the game, not the musical), although I stopped playing chess years ago thanks to that selfsame feeling of paralysis. My mate Jean Paul was the last person to challenge me to a game, and after he made the first move, I sat there in a state of ever-increasing bewilderment, unable to respond since every potential move risked unleashing fearful, uncertain and perhaps vicious consequences. In the end I had to apologise.

I'm sorry...I just... can't... do... this... were the words that I uttered in the tragi-heroic style of a thousand epic films in which the leading actor is faced with an agonising if not impossible choice which may have the gravest of implications for the whole of humanity or at least the future of the Post Office.

Ok, fancy some coffee? Came Jean Paul's reply, with a certain stern aspect serving to rebuke my melodramatics.

I'll go no further, for I'm also running the risk of drawing analogies between life and chess, and that would surely be an embarrassing new low.

So bollocks to that for now too.

In summation then, I seem to have written a post about things that I'm not going to post about, at least for now. You have my express permission to desist from gripping the edges of your respective seats.

9 comments:

Reading the Signs said...

Never mind the bollocks, Trousers, we really need to hear about the strange internal madness or something like that - I mean how can you leave us hanging like this?

I know bollocks about chess but feel analogies between that and life would also be illuminating.

Thanking you in anticipation (no pressure).

Leigh said...

Sometimes I feel like coming out with a low battery warning when the kids are driving me particularly nuts: "Alert! Your mother has only nine minutes of temper left, after which she will automatically shut down to protect her vocal chords (and your ears) from unnecessary damage."

DJ Kirkby said...

Well your blog posts certaintly are original. xo p.s. your word verification is 'noweed' probably a good thing in the circumstances...

Merkin said...

As I sit here, I am playing chess with a friend in Brazil and a friend or two in Poland.
Most therapeutic and easy to do on-line.

I use www.itsyourturn.com and have done so for a few years now.

It's better if you are playing with people at about the same level - no fun winning/losing every time.
It is also important - for me at least - to play with people you know well and trust (it is far too easy to get online help to win).

I also have a text box and can twitter away to my hearts content and find out what is happening elsewhere.

trousers said...

Hi signs, sorry to leave you hanging like that: I have written the first part of the post in question, but realised it would take time that I didn't have yesterday. I'll get there though, it's one of those which needs to be written, regardless of the concerns I might have about what people might think!

As regards chess, I think that the analogy is here in this present post already.

Here I am in another internet cafe, cursing that on the day I left my digs that have been my home for the week, I saw a previously-hidden sign saying WiFi access here. So I could have surfed and posted to my heart's content. But then, that wasn't what being on holiday was all about, and WiFi in cafes has sufficient novelty value.

Leigh, I think you should try that, and see what happens. Seriously! I'd be interested to know the result, should you go ahead.

Definitely, deej (regarding the WVL)!

merk, that sounds good, if chess is your thing. I feel that I'd still have that same paralysis regardless. I do remember playing against a friend years ago though, before all of this: she would almost always win, though the games would be close and competitive enough to make them entertaining.

However, we then played timed games, and the tables were completely turned. Funny how these things make a difference.

nmj said...

Did you go to The Canny Man?

I think it has changed a lot since I was last there, many years ago!

But it is still quirky - and unfriendly - from what I read.

trousers said...

No, I didn't make it there in the end, nmj. I forgot whereabouts you said it was, and didn't have the chance to check it out.

Shame, because it does sound worth a visit.

Hullaballoo said...

I hate the way laptops lie about having zero battery power, when clearly they could trail on for seconds, minutes at a time.

Wii-fi in a cafe, now there's a right of passage. I bet part of you thinks it's magic, part of me did.

trousers said...

Mine seems to be the other way round, hulla, the battery now seems to cut out when it's reporting 35% (or thereabouts) remaining.

But a mild, inconsequential frustration in the greater scheme of things, I suppose.

Yes, it ismagic, wifi in a cafe: I've done it twice now. Twice!