Pressing problems for trousers

Thankfully the preoccupations that have plagued me this week are fading into the background, at least for now: the very fact of publishing the previous post - cryptic as it was - helped a little, as did actually talking to someone: and, not least, being a little easier on myself.

Besides there are far more pressing problems to deal with: The Staff Party.

This takes place tonight, and I'm wondering whether to go or not. Aside from the whole concept of office parties, the first question I'm asking myself is, do I really want to spend any more time than is absolutely necessary at my workplace? Given that I'm inclined to paraphrase (or steal from) dj kirkby and rename it The Chateau of Despair, do I really want to spend my Friday evening there?

Here are a few pros and cons:

There's free food and booze (though apart from a couple of exceptions I've not really been bothered about drink lately).

Regardless of my feelings about work itself, I do like many of the staff, overall they're a good bunch (regardless of their feelings about me).

I'm still shaking off a few residual symptoms of the bug I had earlier this week.

I don't really want to get pissed in front of my work colleagues. I'd be happier acting(?) like a boring old fart. Plus if I do drink more than I should, I might start speaking The Voice Of Truth and find myself treading The Path To A P45 (however long it takes, I'd much rather leave work than be sacked). Chances are if I did get pissed I'd speak unintelligible rubbish, but the possibility still remains.

I've got so many other wild and amazing things I could be doing (well, that's technically true, if not especially likely).

Advice is welcome, though by the time anyone reads this, the probability is I'll have already set myself on a course of action (or inaction). I'll report back. And who knows, before the month is out I might even have delivered on my threat to post my "Landscapes of the mind" scribblings.

Navel Gazing

This week, I've not felt very eloquent.
I've been very insular and unsociable (extended conversations with representatives from British Gas don't count).
I've felt very frustrated: necessary change feels as distant (and challenging) a prospect as it ever did.
Old habits and patterns of behaviour are as ingrained as they ever were.

Something calming (but not in tablet form)

I've just spent half the evening wrapping myself in knots (or notes) trying to write a post which has so far proved beyond my capabilities. Weird stuff about dreams, the landscapes of the mind and how they resonate with external experiences and events - you know exactly what I'm talking about don't you.

Sod it, I've given up on that for tonight at least: I might have been a bit too ambitious. I may return to it though (consider that a threat as much as a promise).

Instead, for my benefit more than anything, here's a nice calming photograph (with only a hint of disquiet).

Walking with Pixie

Those who frequent Prada Pixie's blog might be forgiven for thinking that I've stolen some of her photographs of rather impressive scenery. I took these yesterday, having met up with Pixie for a walk.

I must admit to being scared and nervous before meeting her: I haven't met anyone Off The Internet before, since other such opportunities have unfortunately proven too difficult so far, for a number of reasons. So as I arrived at the station and stepped out onto the platform I was having to make sure I was breathing slowly and steadily to keep myself calm. What would I say? Would we have anything to talk about, or would we walk in an uncomfortable silence?

No such worries, I found her to be a very warm and friendly person and we conversed about life, the universe and everything over a four-hour walk. I even managed not to say anything bizarre (well, not at first anyway). It feels a very weird thing to me, meeting someone Off The Internet, but that really wasn't an issue on the day: we had a very pleasant and enjoyable time.

I shan't try and describe the walk that we did - hopefully the photos speak for themselves, plus there are authoritative descriptions on Pixie's own blog. But the scenery was great, the weather was kind to us, and I had the benefit of someone being able to give me all sorts of insights and stories about the place as though I was on a guided tour. I even managed not to fall and break my ankle, despite my best efforts on more than one occasion.

We rounded off the afternoon with a drink at a lovely pub, and if you like real ales I'd recommend a pint of Rich Ruby (notice how I remember the name of the beer but not the place names where we walked) . All in all, a very fine day was had, so thank you Pixie!

In fact the only downer was later on, courtesy of an otherwise adorable cat: I've been feeding him while his owners (or rather, staff) are away this weekend, and he chose to throw up on the carpet.
Bless him.

Pointless pursuits

I finished a college course today. I enrolled for it two weeks ago. It's work-related, and I was informed that it was compulsory. I shrugged my shoulders and enrolled.

I started a college course today - the same one, approximately two hours before I finished it. Someone had reminded me that we were due to hand one of the units in tomorrow. There are two individual units to complete, each comprising three separate parts. So, six chunks of work in the form of questions to be answered. I finished the lot in one fell swoop.

I had a method. I would read one of the questions, then look in the accompanying course book, and there was the answer in the related section. I would copy out the answer into the appropriate space on the question sheet.

With the next question I did the same thing - and so on and so forth, until I'd completed each question in each unit. It wasn't cheating: it was what we were told to do by the tutor.

So I've completed a course in an afternoon. Will I pass or will I fail? With a learning experience of this quality, I couldn't really give a shit. A pass will be as meaningless as a fail.

I haven't learned anything whatsoever, I haven't gained anything from doing this course - except for a mild sense of bemusement at having to do something for the sake of it, and which has no merits otherwise. But hey, if I pass, apparently I get a recognised qualification!

I did remind myself that at least I was getting paid for the time I spent sat in the office copying answers from a book onto a worksheet.

Ho hum.

Noble Pursuits (2)

I'm now faced with the daunting task of trying to convey how good Ross Noble's show was. It's not easy.

What might serve to sum it up is that me and Dave/Reg/Juan/whatever I called my mate in the previous post sat with a beer during the interval, talking about how good it had been so far.

"Trouble is", Tim said (swiftly changing his name again in the process), "I can't recall a damn thing that he's said."

It wasn't just me then. The fact that it was difficult to remember anything other than tiny snippets wasn't because it was unmemorable or not funny: Ross Noble is an incredible improviser, taking so many random cues from quick-fire interaction with the audience and then going off on incredibly surreal tangents. Sure, he'll have a repertoire to fall back on if needs be, but the first hour was a marvel of sheer off-the-cuff inventiveness. Crucially, it was downright-bleeding-hilarious: but so stream-of-consciousness and (somehow) simultaneously multi-layered, that I reckon it's going to take days for it to unravel in my mind.

There were few, if any, jokes to speak of: just an amazing cross referencing of equally daft ideas and scenarios: he would entangle the audience within them, and then convolute matters even further. What results is something just plausible enough to understand and follow, but the sheer oddness of it is where the humour develops and gathers momentum. I'll stop coming out with stuff like this now because I'm falling into the terrible trap of trying to analyse humour. I've also managed to describe something without really saying anything...so I'll stop now.

He must have been on stage for more than two and a half hours, taking the brief interval into account, and I was frequently crying with laughter. Those last few words are probably the best way of conveying how enjoyable it was.

Noble Pursuits

That's a terrible title to this post. I'm going to see Ross Noble tomorrow night. It's only been here and there that I've seen him on TV (which might be due to me not having a TV) doing stand-up or guesting on various programmes: but, all the same, his has been the kind of daftness that I like and enjoy.

Thanks are due to my mate the welder (I'll give him a nudge to post another blog sometime soon) for getting the tickets, but now he can't make it after all that for a number of reasons. A big shame, but thankfully my mate Dave (name changed from Reg for the sake of confidentiality) is coming along instead.

I'm looking forward to it, I could do with a seriously good laugh. I'll let you know how it goes.