Saturday, 12 April 2008

Many Happy Returns to me

It's my birthday this weekend - that's right, all weekend. I'm off out tonight - indeed I'm playing another gig, and I'll write about it I'm sure.

But one thing I felt I needed to write was a few more words about my grandma. I've just returned from seeing my mother last night, which meant I had the opportunity to see my grandma this morning.

I went into her house and knocked, as I always do, on the living room door before going through. As I opened it I saw her sat in her chair, motionless, silent, facing away and looking sort of crumpled. She was dozing. I said a necessarily loud hello - she's as deaf as I'm likely to become - and she looked up, startled, saying a couple of half-formed words and who...what's happening?. I braced myself for what I thought might be a difficult conversation trying to navigate with her through a rather vague, foggy mental state.

It couldn't have been much more different: apart from a couple of mild moments of forgetfulness, she was bright as a button, and appeared far more aware and together than I've seen her in months. It was such a nice, pleasant surprise. We chatted for a while, and it was gratifying to see some of her old spirit much more in evidence than has been the case for a while, though in a way this heightens the contrast with her quite fragile physical state.

It made my day.

What has helped, I'm sure, is that she is now getting daily visits from a social services agency to help her to manage. I think the sense of routine, and the stimulus provided by conversation with visitors who are there to help, has focused her mind to a noticeable degree. It's also meant my mother has been able to relinquish a lot of the responsibility of helping her, and so things are slightly better all round.

Wish me luck for tonight.


Pixie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pixie said...

You don't need luck your good at what your doing. Just have fun!

But Why? said...

I'll second that, and send you luck regardless.

Merkin said...

'...she was bright as a button..'
Just fine.
Give her a hug from me.

B said...

aw, glad.

was my birthday yesterday, and that's lasting all weekend too! do we share a birthday? get anything good?

DJ Kirkby said...

Happy birth weekend...your poor mother, must have been a real struggle getting you out!

Caroline said...

Hope it went well last night.
And happy birthday weekend honey. Like dj, I so feel for your poor mother.

Aries is my ideal natch, you'll be happy to know :)

Lady in red said...

I hope you had a good gig and an even better birthday so I expect you are recovering now

Queen Vixen said...

Hope you had a great night Trousers. Happy Birthday for today. The tale of your Gran bought a smile to my face. The elderly need stimulation as much as anyone else. In my work as a therapist I have recently had to work with three women over the age of 70. I dumped all my angst and steriotypical projections and worked in the same way I always do. Those three ladies are proving to be wonderful clients and are having a profound effect on me as a person. Way to go Gran - and hope your head is not too 'delicate' on this fine birthday morning xx

szwagier said...

Already passed on via "other channels", but here's a public happy birthday.

Happy Birthday.

trousers said...

Haha, you haven't heard my stuff pixie! No, I appreciate your confidence in me, thank you - yes I did have fun, and I'll blog about it either later this evening or tomorrow x

And thanks to you too but why? x

merk, it was most definitely fine and I feel much better for having seen her so much brighter than in recent months.

b, no we don't share a birthday, mine's today, but it's pretty close all the same. Hope you've had as good a time as I have (same goes for pixie above). I got some whisky, a Krautrock dvd, some nice things from my mum, and the company of good friends as well as the opportunity to play the gig last night. Couldn't ask for more really! x

Hi dj, I was wondering whether I should make mention of something like that in the article - it does make it sound like it was an arduous experience doesn't it (fortunately for all concerned, I don't think it was) :-) x

It did cas, it was a most enjoyable night, thanks - as mentioned, I'll blog it soon. Ideal match? I like the sound of that!


Thanks lady, as you'll have gathered if you've read my responses above, it's all been good. Hope yours was too? I will have to drop by and see if you've blogged it. Thankfully I'm not particularly fragile today, so now I'm just relaxing rather than recovering as such :) x

Thanks qv, and I'm glad you appreciated what I wrote about my grandma - so it's good to see also what positives you are experiencing with your own elderly clients, thanks for sharing that. As mentioned above, I'm not too delicate today fortunately, though I aim to avoid further boozing at least until next weekend x

szwag, thank you for that, and damn good to meet you!

I'll just add as a general point that I hope to catch up with everyone's blogs over the next couple of days. I've had a glance at a few sites and am aware that I've missed a lot of new posts, so I'm looking forward to some quality blog-time.

nmj said...

Belated Happy Birthday, Trews... glad your granny is getting support,& it is heartening to see how you treasure the times you spend with her. x

Charlotte said...

Belated happy birthday wishes. Hope the gig went well.

B said...

Well then you share a birthday with my nanna and my father in law, which is nearly as good :)

Glad you had a good'un.

trousers said...

Oh, thank you nmj, for the birthday wishes and for the comments relating to my Grandma: it's at least partially a reflection of how heartening it was to see her so much more intact, which I really wasn't expecting.

Thank you too charlotte, indeed it did go well - I've just posted it up now :)

b, wow, the birthdays really are clustered together in your family aren't they (having said that, my father's birthday would have been on the 9th) - well I hope you've all had good celebrations between you!

B said...

April is *the* birthday month for my family. 1st, 10th, 11th, 13th, 15th, 26th, and there are at least two wedding anniversaries that month too :)

trousers said...

Cor blimey (for want of a better phrase). Do you have a detox in May? April must be a great month for you, but not for your liver :)

monster paperbag said...

good for you :)..